War between the lines

I just finished pillow talking with Sheyra, since we're in the same room and we didn't have anything to do. Our gap paper is 11 days. So we have lots of time to sit and chit chat or we could actually book a ticket and flew home to Malaysia. I guess we prefer staying and we don't know when we'll come back to Jakarta. We should probably enjoy our time while it lasts.

Lately, I've been asking many of my friends about the problem I'm facing with someone. Different people gave different views. In the end, it's up to me to make the decision. After all, it is my problem. But until now, I still have problem in deciding. Making decisions is never easy in life, especially when it involves someone you care about. You have to think many many many times about the decision you make. To tell you the truth, I'm quite a person, who wants a happy ending for all. I said to myself that if I were to make everyone satisfied,there never will be a decision made. Either way,someone has to get hurt and when this happens, I'll be the one who's hurt.

It's hard to explain myself, Bunda Atiqah says that I'm going through a phase where I need changes in life. Of course, imagine yourself being in my situation, things you wanted at 18 wouldn't be the same when you turn 22. It may change, and it might not. But, mostly,people tend to change.

So when I decided that I wanted to 'make this big decision', it changes a life of someone else, someone who cares deeply about me, someone who made plans in mind about having me in life. Right now, I feel like a bad- confused - unappreciative person in the whole world. Like hello! Wake up what is wrong with you.

I just can't help myself,what gives me stress nowadays is this problem. I have a month to think over this matter, oh wait, approximately 28 days. I just wish God will help me in this and the decision I make shall not be regretted, ever.

Love,
my own heart.